Response to Alan’s column last week, November 29, 2019 from Anne Marie Whalley
Alan Ferdman, to answer to your article, does anyone on this Earth have the recipe to be a parent? I have three daughters. There were no tried-and-true methods available to parents on how exactly to raise a child. I did it with the knowledge of my parents and some books that I read. It was interesting to go through the phases of development of three children.
Now, we have grandkids who, not long ago, asked me how my life was when I was their age. When I described my youth to them, they wanted to follow my path. They wanted to play outside. They wanted to do well at school. They wanted to love their parents, like grandma did. So, we developed artistry and craft together. They could play outside under the surveillance of grandma. We did arts, crafts, read a lot and we even wrote stories and illustrated them.
My kids decided that it was time for their kids to have a telephone at an early age, since it was necessary for their kids to communicate with them at any time. I did not agree with that policy, although I understood the current peer pressure to do so. When I was young, I did not follow the peer pressure. I had a mind of my own.
No one listened to me, and some of our grandchildren seem to do nothing else besides looking at their telephones in all of their free time. Bye-bye to the time spent sharing with their grandparents in physical activities, pursuing nature and other pleasures of childhood as we knew it.
I have something against parents not carefully monitoring and guiding their children’s free time. When my kids were young, TV was limited to one cartoon for 20 minutes a day. My kids played on the playground, practiced sports, listened to music, danced, practiced their skills of learning at school and did homework.
My grandkids do well at school, and I am the type of grandma who still continues to monitor their grades. But good grades do not mean that a child feels that life is good. So, to compensate for what is missing in their life, my husband and I have decided one thing: when the grandkids visit us, we limit and monitor their phones and we have conversations. At the beginning, the children did not want to visit us that often. It was boring for them to communicate with adults. We did not call them; we left them alone.
Today, the adolescent grandkids are looking up at us for our guidance along the way. They hug us. They tell us about their grades and they are looking for conversations again. They spend more time with us, and it is more quality time since they became closer again. It is still not as often as we would like to, but because they have changed their ways, I call them again and tell them how amazing they are. I even play mean and stern. They know that I am joking, and my jokes make them think.
One grandchild did not believe in God because God took her father away from her when she was very young. Today, she begins to ask questions about religion and even goes to church and likes it. I discovered also that she has a mind of her own and that she will not follow her peer pressure for certain things. That makes us happy.
The other grandkids are in their learning process vis-à-vis their grandparents. They are working hard at school, but we monitor them via phone. As I said, good grades do not mean that a child does not go through a hard time. I can recognize in their voices that something is not right with them, and they are sensitive kids. What we taught them before is anchored in them, and we continue to supervise them.
Adolescence is an important time for kids. Their hormones are changing, and we need to take it seriously. A child is a future man or woman. A child needs communication with their parents, grandparents and peers. I do not think that I still have all the ingredients to educate a child, but I can pass my knowledge to the parents and their children.
I dislike what the progress has done to our kids, but I am not someone who spends time negatively. I look at the problems and try to resolve them. I do not know what the future of my grandchildren will be, and now the only thing I can do for them is to always communicate with them and use their progressive tools, like the telephone, to keep an eye on them.
Remember, a voice with its silences, its happiness and its surprises is a tool to be monitored. I learned that here when I left my mom behind, who was an old woman at the time, to move with my husband to the United States. My only tools to communicate with her were written letters and phone calls. I have learned so many details with those ways of communication. I use them today with my grandkids.
Your Nov. 29 issue’s “Puzzlement” section notified readers that Christy Smith’s campaign sent a press release to the Gazette that she has been endorsed by some union, apparently hoping the topic would be printed. Incredible! This elected representative for the district that holds your business, your home and the residences of many, if not all, of your employees, publicly besmirched the Gazette and led the charge, with her gang-mentality minions, to shut you down by, for one, intimidating advertisers. That is some representative! The fact that she or someone on her behalf would dare send that to your publication proves there lays more arrogance than common sense and good judgment.
You asked readers, “what would you do?” If I answered that honestly, my answer would have as much chance of being published as Smith’s press release. You were wise to toss that press release in the trash.
Speaking of intimidation, Katie Hill made the Gazette’s front page again with yet another interview. As I wrote recently on another publication, Katie Hill is channeling Hillary Clinton — she takes no responsibility and does not go away.
Hill made some striking comments:
“We have to hold ourselves to a higher standard and recognize that no matter how despicable we think someone is, they’re still a human. You really can’t dehumanize them like this.”
With those words, I am reminded of Hill’s campaign when her fans were indescribably cruel to opposing candidate Steve Knight. The words and comments on Facebook for the entire campaign were intentionally demeaning and certainly vile. Most of them would not have been printed in a decent publication. Dehumanizing? Knight is a decent and good man with a nice family, and the trash was undeserved. We don’t have enough space to discuss those words as they relate to our president.
“What we have to think about is this isn’t just happening to me,” Hill said. “This is happening to women and girls across the country. I was asked about this all the time on the campaign trail by really young teenagers and girls who experience cyber-bullying in different capacities and who are saying ‘What are you going to do about this?’ and we don’t have an answer for that, so we need to figure out that fight.”
That statement conjures up a big question. Just how many “women and girls across the country” are photographing such behavior, making it available to be seen? And we are not talking about one or two pictures. As for “figuring out how to fight”, consider not doing it!
“We also need to see it as a tactic that is constantly used by the right,” she said. “I think that’s something that we see on attacks against women, not just high profile women but women across the board. These kinds of attacks are meant to silence you, demean you, and show that you do not have power, so for me it was important to show that that’s not going to work.”
That is a profound statement — “the right” attacking women. We all know about Hillary’s Bimbo Squad attacking Juanita Broaddrick, Kathleen Willey and more. Or, how about Sarah Palin, Tulsi Gabbard, Melania Trump, Ivanka Trump, Kellyanne Conway and actually any and every woman in Trump’s circle? That is but a few. Hill demonstrates ignorance of the fact that it is a staple of the left and many Democrats to “silence…demean…and show that you do not have power.” Moreover, that tenet is not limited to women.
Where was Katie Hill when women on the right were being attacked the last three years?
The real victims are California’s 25th District and its residents. Hill invited Christy Smith to be her replacement. Smith was and is mum on the attacks of women on the right as well. For this and her voting record for tax increases, etc., the 25th will not be improved with electing Christy Smith.
Hill is muddying the waters of whining. She resigned before any House investigation findings were announced. The public is not being told how long that investigation went on; it was announced there would be one, and shortly after that Hill resigned. The only charge that could handicap her keeping her seat was the allegation of the affair with a male who worked for her. Her admitted affair with a woman on her campaign isn’t “illegal.”
Blame is being thrown a lot of directions when it doesn’t take any time past one thought to know who had the photos and texts in their possession. Hill herself said that she was surprised this didn’t come out sooner. Wow! Yes, the timing is a huge mystery. It would be naïve to think that someone didn’t have at least some of the information with that thing called opposition research. Further, did the Democrats not look into the candidate they feverishly promoted with publicity and millions of dollars?
I had to roll my eyes when I read Lee Barnathan’s column of 11/27 that one of our local Progressive ideologues was all in on Elizabeth Warren for President. Warren is a candidate whose whole adult life was based on lies. She lied about her ancestry to get a high paying, 6 figure job, as a Professor at Harvard. She lied about being fired from a job for being pregnant. She lied about her parents having to elope because her Grandparents were xenophobic against Indians. She lied about her son attending private schools. And, her biggest whopper of all, there would be no middle class income tax cut to pay for her 20.5 trillion dollar Medicare tax plan. Then there are her other Progressive Pandering budget busting fantasies of free public college tuition for all; forgiveness of all outstanding student debt; reparations for Blacks; and a new “Green Deal” plan that would cost between $50 – $90 TRILLION dollars between 2020 and 2029. Giving the choice of “voting for my foot” as Stephen Daniels was quoted or voting for Trump, I vote for Trump.