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About Sarah

  • Member Since: June 18, 2015

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Sarah is a student at College of the Canyons and likes to take long walks on the beach. She loves everything jazz, and is aware of every kind of cheese known to man. There's no such thing as a perfect woman, but if there were, she is second to last - and she'll take it.

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Band of the Week: The Basted Mamas

| Entertainment | May 17, 2018

The Basted Mamas are an “anti-funk” band from College of the Canyons. Yes – you read correctly. They made up a genre.

Perhaps you’ve heard of anti-folk, which is the subversion of ‘60s political protest folk in an attempt to bash pretension. The Basted Mamas, however, is anti-funk – a subversion of traditional funk with an anti-folk twist. Funk also refers to a strong odor, which one would expect a Basted Mama to have. You can smell these performers all the way from Valencia.

The term “baste,” according to an online dictionary, refers to the pouring of juices or melted fat over (meat) during cooking in order to keep it moist. The term “mama” refers to a mother. Go figure.

The group’s songs take on tough subjects, like the existential crises of a pet fish, and murder conspiracies concerning cannibalistic mothers – all with pronounced bass lines, pre-programmed drum tracks, and sometimes, a capella rap.

The Basted Mamas make surprise appearances at open mics, mostly because “no one has offered, or is even willing to book (them).” They say that they do not need to rehearse either, “because rehearsing is the opposite of art.”

Despite their questionable work ethic, The Basted Mamas are committed to spoon feeding a misguided anti-corporate agenda to audiences across the SCV.

“We just want people to stop buying things,” says the band’s website. “If you need more soap, don’t use soap. If you ran out of heart medication, just muster up the willpower to live.”

The Basted Mamas are coming out with their first album, which will be released at the end of this month. For more information about The Basted Mamas, keep Googling the name until something comes up. They will be on the map … eventually.

Artist of the Week – Rob Lowe

| Entertainment | May 11, 2018

No, he is not critically acclaimed actor Rob Lowe, and yes, his work history includes employment at the home and garden store, Lowe’s. This specific Rob Lowe is a 26-year-old musician and Golden Valley High School graduate who released his debut album “I Was Sober” last month.

Rob Lowe writes emo music, and not the kind an angsty teenager would play on a demo guitar at a music store. He prefers the term “Midwestern Emo,” which he uses to separate himself from the current, popular emo sound. That, combined with folk and math rock influences makes Lowe’s recent album similar to the stylings of Empire! Empire! and Sun Kil Moon.

Although he is not the teen in guitar center blasting his troubles through a speaker, his album has its share of sad storytelling lyrics. “I used to write standard poetry type lyrics and I just hated everything I wrote, but then I experimented with telling stories and it makes a lot more sense for me,” Lowe said.

As for his writing process, he takes his time.

“I’ll usually mess around on guitar until I stumble upon a riff or a chord progression I like. I’ll record it, and then forget about it,” Lowe said. “It took me like a year to record all the guitar parts.”

If you Google Rob Lowe, you will stumble upon the 54-year-old actor. For more information about this Rob Lowe, go to https://robertlowe.bandcamp.com/.

Council OKs Court-Ordered ‘Time-Outs’

| Opinion | May 10, 2018

After a rather raucous council meeting concerning Santa Clarita’s stance on sanctuary cities, Mayor Laurene Weste quickly discovered the need for order in the chamber. Her solution: time-outs designed for grown adults.

At future council meetings, Weste reserves the right to “put naughty men and women in the corner until they learn how to behave.” If public participation gets out of hand, offenders will be escorted by sheriff’s deputy to the corner of the room until they have thought about what they’ve done.

“We will not have name-calling in public,” Bob Kellar said. “We reserve that kind of talk for the grown-ups in my cigar room.”

This initiative will take much-needed sheriffs off of the streets and put them in the council chambers where they will kindly ask the public to put signs away – over and over again.

“Our sheriffs have been training vigorously to perfect stern looks and ear-grabbing techniques,” Weste said. “I’m excited to see it carried out at our next meeting when we, as a city, take a stance on the war in Iraq.”

Milennials – Who Needs Them? Inspired by Richard Hood’s The Lamest Generation

| Opinion | May 10, 2018

We’re morally bankrupt, we complain too much, and we don’t know how to work hard. Please – not too many compliments at once. But, before you publish those kind words on the Facebook page we taught you how to use, let’s take the logs out of our eyes.

Come on, you all remember what it was like to be young. Picture this: It’s spring; the flowers are blooming, and the dinosaurs are hatching from their eggs. … Okay, all jokes aside, you remember what it was like to look at an older generation and have opinions about the way you were raised. You learned to take things with a grain of salt, and experienced rude awakenings when your parents turned out to be right. We have a lot in common.

The disdain many older folks have for the young people they helped raise reeks of insecurity. Correct me if I am wrong (which I know many of you will in heated letters to this publication), but the strong reactions toward the current generation seem somewhat self-centered – inward feelings projected onto those who resemble aspects of yourselves. Call us know-it-alls, and we see the people who won’t admit wrongdoing. Call us morally compromised, and we see people who lack compassion towards those who are different from them.

The moment a young person has a contrasting opinion, they are labeled inexperienced. The credentials for a valid opinion are:

•Be older than 40

Hmm – it’s like the opinions that matter to you are … just yours. And, most young people are not afraid to acknowledge that your views are valid and have been shaped by life experience. But, that does not mean that ours aren’t too. We are growing up in a different world, and that means that times are changing. What worked for your generation might not work for ours, and it’s our turn to deal with them, mess up, and become entirely irrelevant to the next generation.

Let’s not pretend like this whole process doesn’t happen over and over again. It’s the circle of life. Before I know it, I’ll be writing letters – excuse me – teleporting messages to the local weblog, complaining about how the young whippersnappers want me carted off to the robot-run nursing home.

Of course, I know that what I’ve said in this column isn’t anything new, either. You have all heard these things, had a panic attack, and reassured yourselves that people like me have no idea what we’re talking about. And I don’t blame you. I’ll do the same thing when I am old. But, your turn on life’s political carousel is slowing down, and you’re running out of tokens because you spent them all on wars.

I digress.

I guess what I am trying to say is “chill.” And take turns listening. You’ve told us our whole lives that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Show us what a great generation is, rather than telling us – and we will compete with you to do the same. May the best generation win.

Please disregard anything I’ve had to say and direct all scathing hate mail to sarah@santaclaritagazette.com.

Breaking the Comedy Rules

| Canyon Country Magazine, Entertainment | May 3, 2018

At an open mic in North Hollywood, anxious comics wait to perform their routines. The host welcomes a duo, and the crowd hushes.

One comedian opens a bag and begins pulling out several microphones – all of which are unplugged. The two bicker and exchange nervous laughter while wrapping the cords around their bodies. They manage to spout exactly two one-liners, hand off the broken microphones several times, and ask how much time they have left: one minute. The crowd laughs. By this time, everyone is in on the joke.

The Brothers Belardinelli, consisting of Demetri Belardinelli and Victor Trevino, both from Canyon Country, is a comedy duo crafted by destiny.

“The name comes from me forcing my way into Demetri’s family as a young teen,” Trevino said. “I had a rough patch and the Belardinelli house took me in and treated me like a son (because their real son was Demetri, and obviously they needed more).”

In High School, both Belardinelli and Trevino were active on Canyon High School’s improv team, each serving leadership roles. The two clicked immediately after they discovered a shared interest in stand-up comedy. Because the two are five years apart, Trevino would drive Belardinelli, who was 15 at the time, to open mics in Los Angeles – and the rest was history.

After Belardinelli graduated in 2012, they decided to take the plunge and enroll in Second City’s conservatory in Los Angeles, completing the program in two years – before Belardenelli was even old enough to attend the school.

“I graduated at 18, before I was actually allowed to go. I told everyone in the class I was 20. I turned ‘21’ in class, and they were like, ‘let me buy you a beer,’ and I was like ‘Eh, not tonight.’”

As for their brand of comedy, it isn’t your grandfather’s stand-up – it borders on performance art. According to Belardinelli and Trevino, the current stand-up scene needs a bit of a refresher. “You only hear the same 10 topics over and over again,” Belardinelli said.

Each set they write is designed to be spontaneous and unpredictable. At a recent performance for the Garage Chronicles standup series, the two surprised the audience with a realistic fist fight that was eventually stopped when a referee emerged from the audience and awarded the winner a title belt – only to be revoked onstage due to a urine test revealing “comedy enhancing drugs.”

And as much as their comedy style contrasts with the stand-up status quo, the Brothers Belardinelli has managed to headline shows at several venues – including the Federal Bar in Hollywood.

“The weirdest gig we’ve ever had was showing up to a two-hour show and realizing it was themed around being a father,” Trevino said. “All of the comics were (about) 40 and did traditional material about their kids. Then Demetri and I went up and did 20 minutes about scabies and had our brother Dante throwing pizza into the crowd to an Italian children’s song. Needless to say, the audience wasn’t expecting us, and it tanked.”

The Brothers Belardinelli is currently headlining a monthly comedy series at the Yard Theater in Los Angeles run by John Ennis of “Mr. Show.” Their next performance is May 24 at 8 p.m., and tickets are $5 at the door.

For more information about the Brothers Belardinelli, check them out at Instagram.com/BrothersBelardinelli. Or,

Band of the Week – Plastic Otters

| Entertainment | April 20, 2018

Plastic Otters, a local grunge/experimental indie band from Santa Clarita, is completely changing the way we think of otters playing in garage bands.

Tyler Bernstein, the front man of Plastic Otters, made the switch from visual art to music toward the end of his high school career, noting that he has been making and playing music, “since Obama’s second-to-last drone strike – almost two years now.”

However, the Plastic Otters’ signature experimental style combines Bernstein’s love for both visual artistry and music. Live performances are interesting, to say the least. For a gig at Vincenzo’s, a man stood with a bag over his head and sunglasses over the bag. As Bernstein read poetry, the mysterious bag-man came alive and began to solo on the guitar.

According to Bernstein, what sparked his interest in music was the immediacy and accessibility of the art form. “I realized that, like a lot of others, I was listening to music during most of my day wherever I was, either with headphones or while driving,” Bernstein said. “It’s also powerful. I mean, an album can make me cry. It’s happened before. That’s tight. I hope to make people cry one day.”

Plastic Otters released its first self-titled EP in 2017, available on most music streaming services. The group plans on releasing a full-length album in May of this year, followed by more live performances.

For more information about plastic otters, visit www.plasticotters.com, or email the band at plasticotters@gmail.com.

Deterring Theft with the #9PM Routine

| Opinion | April 19, 2018

(Satire)

Santa Clarita has recently implemented a new safety campaign to help deter criminals from breaking into vehicles. The #9PMRoutine is the catchy new way to protect you and your family from being broken into past 9 o’clock.

The #9PMRoutine reminds residents to take the right steps every night to prevent car theft. Now, thanks to the public announcement that most cars will remain unlocked before 9 p.m., burglars are finally going to avoid committing crimes.
Here are the procedures of the #9PMRoutine:

•Remove valuables (electronic devices, wallets, etc.) from your vehicle.
•Ensure that vehicle doors and trunks are locked.
•Check that all house and property exterior doors and garage are locked.
•Turn on exterior lights.
•Put a note on your car that says “Do not break in – or else.”

Additionally, by logging into social media and joining the conversation #9PMRoutine, only your fellow law-abiding community members will see that you leave your cars unlocked before 9 p.m. You and your neighbors can all let each other know whose cars and houses will be open before dark.

Stay safe, everyone!

A real photo tweeted by the SCV Sheriff’s Department

SCV Cover Band Index Reaches Dangerous Proportions

| Opinion | April 5, 2018

The City of Santa Clarita recently announced the line-up for this summer’s Concerts in the Park – but experts are now warning the public of an impending crisis that could shake the city to its core.

Every summer, the city hosts a slew of bands at Central Park, while families picnic and teenagers try cigarettes. This year, however, the city’s CBI (Cover Band Index) is at an all-time high. Our town has never seen numbers like this, leading scientists and residents concerned about the consequences.

“It’s not necessarily the number of cover bands that is concerning this year,” a local geologist commented. “It’s the sheer magnitude, and potential energy, of the kinds of bands that are set to play this year.”

It’s Green Day. It’s the Foo Fighters. It’s catastrophe. Every single name on the lineup has enough potential energy to activate the inner angst in most middle-aged residents, and stir the existing angst in the smoking teenagers.

“What we’re looking at here is a humanitarian crisis in the making,” FEMA administrator Brock Long said. “First, one person starts head-banging, and the next thing you know, Uncle Greg is engaging in a mosh pit by the playground. That multiplied by the power of cover bands who try really hard. … It’s a mess.”

In fact, each cover band has a measurable effect on specific portions of the venue, beginning with aging fans at the front, followed by excitable parents in the middle, surrounded by emo/fringe teenagers on the outskirts. These hotspots determine how widespread the damage will be in direct relation to demographic.

“Slipping in a Tom Petty cover band isn’t going to be enough to cool things down,” a police officer said. “We will do the best we can this year to prevent as many white people from bouncing up and down to music as possible.”

(WARNING: SATIRE)

Albums of the Week

| Entertainment | April 5, 2018

Death Tape Super Bass: Closed Circuit

Death Tape Super Bass is an electronic/industrial/punk/ambient/noise/drone/experimental project formed by Alex Steinmetz in Santa Clarita. His newest album, Closed Circuit, is described as his first album recorded entirely live without overdubbing and recorded on a ‘monosynth’ style modular setup. If you know what that means, you’re going to love this album.

 

Let There Be Light: Sean Arison

With 11 releases on Band Camp, Sean Arison is one busy guy. His most recent project, Let There Be Light, has 17 tracks – all ambient, some 20 minutes long. Flip on this meditative album when someone cuts you off in traffic.

 

 

Mochi Robinson: Things Unseen

Mochi Robinson is a former CalArts student and Santa Clarita resident. His latest release, Things Unseen, drifts from his usual genre of soulful electronic music and explores contemporary, electronic indie sounds. Put on your headphones and ignore responsibilities with this soundtrack.

April Fools!

| Community | April 1, 2018

A Sampling of Our April Fools articles this year:

Interns Wanted to Educate Bob Kellar about Reefer

Due to the recent legalization of marijuana in the state of California, the city is searching for young, street-wise interns to explain how marijuana works to Bob Kellar.

The city will be conducting a series of interviews in order to find the right candidate – preferably someone with enough patience and willpower to sit through hours of “back in my day…” and unwarranted real estate advice. Candidates are expected to know the difference between household spices and marijuana, and successfully list the distinct differences to the senior councilmember.

“With this project, the city hopes to end Kellar’s night terrors concerning the state of “dope in Santa Clarita,” said a city spokesperson. “Hopefully we will live to see a day when Bob ceases to break into the office at night (in just a robe), grab his trusty baseball bat and hunt for skateboarders who are out past curfew.”

Official Finds Funds in Fax
Comes Across Cash During Interview

After months of controversy over missing funds, a local public official from a former Santa Clarita non-profit made a surprising discovery.

Copies of alleged “missing” checks were found while he was disposing of the office’s beloved fax machine. “I guess we just haven’t been using the fax since we switched to digital,” said the official, who asked to remain anonymous. “What a hilarious, inconvenient misunderstanding.”

The official breathed a sigh of relief, finished laughing, and reached for a handkerchief from his back pocket to wipe the sweat from his forehead. It led to another discovery: an envelope with $5,009.98 in cash intended for a credit card dispute.

“I, uh … I guess I forgot to check these pants. Yikes.”

City Decides Not To Tear Down Historic Building

Last week, the City of Santa Clarita was ready to tear down the two-story building on Soledad and Sierra Highway in order to make room for a new Canyon Country Community Center – that is, until a resident reminded everyone of its historical significance.

After a City Council photo op and a swing of a tractor arm into the second story window, a frantic man emerged from the crowd. Out of breath after running from Jake’s Way, he began to give a speech.

“What are we doing here?! Can’t you see that this building represents the classic Canyon Country aesthetic™? Who are we without off-white brick, tattoo parlors and a Boost Mobile? SAUGUS?!”

Music began to play, and the crowd was in tears. Councilmember Laurene Weste slowly took off her hard hat and placed it over her heart.

“In all my years of tearing down small businesses and building less profitable ones, I have never seen such a display,” said one councilmember. “Board up the hole.”

 

 

California Shopping Bag Ban Saves the Day

By Thomas Jefferson X
Contributor

I just read an article titled, “California shopping bag ban saves the day.” The article stated that a man went into the local Walmart and proceeded to put numerous DVDs, video games and other electronics into his shopping cart. He then proceeded to the checkout stand. The clerk rang up his items; they totaled $935. He then simply took his three bags of items and walked out without paying for them.

The store manager called the police. The police officer told the manager that they no longer come out for any incident totaling under $950, nor will they investigate, but they will take a report for the theft. The store manager could not believe what he was hearing: “How can the police not come out and arrest a shoplifter for stealing $935 worth of stuff? We have video surveillance of the thief stealing the merchandise. We have a very clear picture of what he looks like. We even have video of his car and license plate. What more do they need?”

It was only when the manager mentioned to the police officer, “He walked out with three bags of merchandise” that the police officer sprang into action. “Was that three recyclable bags that he brought in with him, or was that three bags from your store?” “It was 3 bags from the store.” “Did he pay the 30 cents for those bags?” “No, he just stole those too!” According to SB270, this is a class 1 felony punishable by up to a $5,000 fine per bag and up to two years in prison per bag. Immediately, the police investigated this heinous crime. A SWAT team was sent to the man’s apartment and he was arrested without incident.

Sheriff Pyle credits the shopping bag ban for the arrest. He was quoted as saying, “We do not pursue or investigate shoplifting crimes under $950. Anything under $950 is a misdemeanor and we simply do not have the manpower/womanpower to investigate such crimes. Had the shopping bag ban not been in effect, he would have gotten away with his crime. How dare he try to steal plastic shopping bags! He was probably going to toss them into a trash can. Those plastic bags are supposed to be used up to 125 times, not just one use. What in the world was he thinking? Yeah, he got what he deserved! He should have paid the 30 cents.”

No, the story above is not true. I made it up to prove a point. Is this what California has come to? We no longer pursue shoplifting under $950? http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2016/05/14/shoplifting-california-prop-47-reduced-penalties/. And a store can be fined up to $5,000 a day for using single-use plastic bags. http://www.calrecycle.ca.gov/plastics/CarryOutBags/FAQ.htm .

So, what is the moral of the story? If you are going to steal, make sure it is under $950 – and make sure you pay the 30 cents for the bags!!!!!!!

Amphitheater Survey

| Opinion | March 15, 2018

Recently, the City of Santa Clarita paid $60,000 to conduct a study as to where we might put an outdoor amphitheater in our growing town. The city is very interested in the input of locals, so they have put together a survey to gauge public opinion. It is important to be honest and open, so fill out the following survey to the best of your ability.

Which of the following is the most important demographic?
Fans of Jimmy Buffet
Fans of Jimmy Buffet cover bands
AARP members who get down to “Margaritaville”

Which accommodations are the most appealing to you?
A) Hearing aid charging station
B) “No Skateboarding” signage
C) 9 o’clock curfew

What do you not want to see at the venue?
A) Culture
B) Hip-Hop dancing
C) Sagging jeans

Welcome to the free response section of the survey. For convenience, you can choose from the following responses:
• Wow, an amphitheater? I can’t believe this city hasn’t thought of it before! Sign me up.
• Hmm … I’m not sure if it’s a good use of resources and funding. Wait, Jimmy Buffet, you say?
• We need more arts in this town. Something … wild. Oooo, how about an orchestra pit?

We’re really, really glad you see it our way. We apologize for how thorough the survey is, but that’s just the nature of the beast. Please pass it on!

Satire – in case you didn’t already figure that out…

Artist of the Week: Next Exodus

| Entertainment | March 2, 2018

The first exodus was completed when Moses helped the Israelites escape from Egypt. The Next Exodus occurred when Abel Tadesse released his latest album Passion and Gain – and now everyone can escape the drone of everyday life by chilling out to these old-school hip-hop jams.

Abel Tadesse is the solo artist behind Next Exodus, a rap/hip-hop project in which he combines the stylings of East Coast and underground hip-hop with modern twists to create his unique sound. Tadesse’s inspirations include J. Cole, Nas, Blu, and Linkin Park.

Tadesse began his music ventures after he picked up the guitar in junior high school, eventually exploring beats and hip hop music in high school. Now 24 years old, Tadesse has established an online presence and utilizes his talent to address sensitive topics and leave an impact on listeners.

Tadesse also writes music as a therapeutic medium to connect with people on a deeper level. “I started making music as a coping mechanism for personal issues I was wrestling with in high school,” said Tadesse. “(It) was a great outlet for me to channel those emotions and feelings I was too reluctant to share publicly.”

Performing live is one way that Tadesse connects with others. Having performed in Hollywood, Los Angeles, Long Beach, Van Nuys and Reseda, Next Exodus has spread this altruistic message all over Southern California: “Learn to not follow the crowd, be (yourselves), and follow (your) hearts.”

For more information about Next Exodus or to listen online, visit https://nextexodus.bandcamp.com/.

U.S. Bans Nuts From Purchasing Weapons

| Opinion | March 1, 2018

In order to combat the recent increase in mass shootings across the United States, the federal government has worked with the NRA to increase gun safety and cooperate with the desires of the public. Beginning March 1, it will be illegal for gun stores to sell arms to almonds, cashews, walnuts, hazelnuts, and peanuts.

“Guns don’t kill people, nuts kill people” – every day, in fact. Over five million children are allergic to peanuts, and the last thing we need is to make those things more dangerous by allowing them to be armed,” said Paul Ryan, desperately attempting to care on camera.

Legislators remain hopeful that this solution will appease all sides of the political spectrum, as long as no one reads past the title of the bill.

“This one passed with flying colors,” said NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch. “It’s broad enough to cover all of the bases, yet literal enough to get absolutely nothing done.”

This is the first of many reforms to come. Next month, SB 420.911 will be up for a vote, which requires gun owners to submit a hand-written note, pinky promising not to harm anyone. Be sure to call local representatives and urge them to advocate for reform. The future is in your hands.

 

 

(SATIRE)

The Night Before the Mayor Rotation (A Singalong)

| News | December 21, 2017

‘Twas the night before Tuesday, when all thro’ the night,
Not a mayor was ruling, not even Cameron Smyth;
The comments were shushed and the picking was “fair,”
In hopes that Laurene Weste soon would rule there;
The council was nestled all snug in their seats,
While visions of Newhall danc’d in their dreams,
And Bill in the chamber, with Bob in his lap,
Had just used the race card to cover his tracks –
When out on the floor there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the driveway I flew like a flash,
Tore open the paper, to locate the cash.
The documents not found and what do you know,
“I have them, I swear” was bolded in quotes.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a worthless tax return from the previous year.
What was I saying about the mayoral clique?
Oh, I knew in a moment just who they would pick.
More rapid than eagles it became time to name,
The next lucky target in which we would blame:
“Now! Laurene, now! Marsha, now! Bob, and Cameron,
“God forbid you give the seat to TimBen;
“To the top of the hill, to “run” City Hall!
“Now throw away! Throw away, voting for all!
Give worth to the mayor or let us decide,
Who the people deem worthy to rule over time;
So up to the podiums the council they flew,
With a plan to shut out those whom they choose:
And then in an instant, I heard on the news
All of the regulars shouting their “boo’s!”
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the Facebook trolls came with a bound:
They were mad, dumb, and funny all at once,
Because everyone online spells “because” like “becuz”;
Then the couple of people who cared were held back,
Due to a post about someone’s lost cat:
His ears – how they ruffled! His paws how merry,
The mayoral rotation was forgotten already;
Will we ever get to vote on a mayor, who knows?
Maybe when hell freezes over, or Santa Clarita snows.

Band of the Week: Reggae-Nomics

| Entertainment | November 22, 2017

Established three weeks ago, Reggae-Nomics is composed of two community college students who recently purchased a “Best of Bob Marley” compilation album from Best Buy. Together, the two band mates combined their love for tossing newly acquired junior college political science curriculum into conversation, with their new appreciation of “authentic Jamaican sounds” to create the most interesting thing going on in their lives at the moment: Reggae-Nomics.

Although the musicians of Reggae-Nomics barely began practicing last week, the group plans on performing at several local open mics, publicly stating that they have high hopes to “make it big” by October of 2018.

“In our three years of attending College of the Canyons, we’ve learned a lot about what’s going on in the world. Reggae-Nomics is not just two 20-year-olds making music in their parents’ living room while drinking Smirnoff without using coasters on brand new IKEA furniture. We are spreading a message of love and understanding – and we are not afraid of the consequences of sharing these radical ideas.”

The band members are hoping to start a music festival in Santa Clarita that is “sort of like Woodstock, but maybe in a parking lot if [they] can’t get the permits.” Unaware of the amount of work it takes to put on something as large as a music festival, the lead singer of Reggae-Nomics also stated that they hope to get a few celebrity guest appearances in the line up. Eddie Murphy and Bernie Sanders have yet to reply to their invitations.

Reggae-Nomics is planning on releasing their first EP by December 1. For more information about Reggae-Nomics, or if you are brave enough to listen, visit their SoundCloud page at https://soundcloud.com/reggae-nomics.

Band of the Week – Apollo 69

| Entertainment | November 10, 2017

If you weren’t alive when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon (or when Stanley Kubrick directed the moon landing), you can still experience the next best thing, right here in Santa Clarita.

Apollo 69, a psychedelic punk/rock band from Santa Clarita, was established by Andre Shahjanian, Nate Ramer, Zach Lindquist, and Tyler Bernstein after the friends began making music last summer.

Last month the group released their debut album, “Homemade Honey,” and after one month of Sound Cloud exposure, their single, “Flowers,” has been played over 2,000 times.

According to Andre Shajhanian, the album name came from the crude practice of irrigating their throats with honey before singing. “We used to down honey before we sang so we could hit the notes,” he explained.

So far, Apollo 69 has played two concerts, and the group is planning additional performances for the coming months. To find out more about Apollo 69, visit www.facebook.com/Apollo69band. To find out the truth about the moon landing, ask the band after one of their shows.

Full Safari Hosts Artist Showcase

| Entertainment | November 2, 2017

A rag-tag group of local musicians build a music festival from the ground and pull it together against all odds. That sounds like the plot of “Wayne’s World 2,” but for Joey Voge of Full Safari, the idea of organizing last Friday’s music festival was spawned without the inspiration from Jim Morrison in the form of a dream.

Ethan Hubbard of KingBlue

“This started after we played at famous places like The Whisky, and we realized that playing at places with reputations matters less than having a good crowd and playing well,” Voge said.

That realization eventually inspired a four-hour festival with a 12-band lineup and numerous local artists. With the help of Gryffon Benepe, the two booked a venue at a local clubhouse, contacted musicians, and handed out hundreds of flyers across the city.

Two concertgoers listen to the performers

Although Voge took initiative, due to his young age, many were skeptical of his leadership capabilities. “My biggest obstacle was with the owners of the venue, because they saw me as a kid and didn’t treat me with respect, even though we followed the rules down to the letter,” Voge said.

Joey Voge, lead singer of Full Safari performing at Vincenzo’s in October

Despite some minor setbacks, everything went as expected, according to Voge.

“The event went great, given it was our first time,” he said. “Everything went as closely to the plan as possible.”

Because this artists’ showcase received such a great response, Voge is in the process of planning and perfecting future events.

He added: “There will be more events like this … probably with food, a better schedule, and a ticket table actually at the door.”

For more information about Full Safari, check them out on Spotify, or visit Full Safari’s Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/TheBandYouLove/.

Artist of the Week – Mochi Robinson

| Entertainment | October 12, 2017

There is no right way to listen to music – but for songwriter Mochi Robinson, taking off your shoes and groovin’ with “stank face” is the only way.

From ambient music to electronic and neo-soul, Robinson hopes to create honest music as an intimate way to connect with the world around him. When it comes to defining his style of music, Robinson prefers not to confine his music to a specific genre: “There’s nothing that I don’t want to play, there’s nothing that I don’t make.”

Playing guitar since the age of 12, Robinson has been developing his passion for music and songwriting for nearly a decade. Robinson moved to Santa Clarita in 2012 to study music at CalArts. After two years, he moved back to Pennsylvania to finish his schooling at University of the Arts in Philadelphia.

Throughout Robinson’s time at CalArts, he performed around SCV, sharing his music with audiences and conversing with the crowds – all without shoes on. “The most wonderful feeling is to have a crowd be genuinely excited and waiting for the next song, project – anything,” said Robinson. “That’s a very powerful feeling and is something that I hope I could sustain.”

Not only does Robinson perform music as a universal language to connect to others, he has goals to move to Japan and become an English teacher. Before he begins his next journey, he plans on making Santa Clarita his final stop in the United States.

For more information about Mochi Robinson and to listen to his music, check out his Bandcamp page at https://mochirobinson.bandcamp.com/, or visit his Sound Cloud at https://soundcloud.com/mochi-robinson.

Band of the Week – Fruit Stand

| Entertainment | September 28, 2017

If there’s one thing this world is in desperate need of, it’s more platonic friends playing guitars — and Emma Thompson and Tate Dickens are more than ready to answer that call.

After local band Submediocre split off this summer, Dickens and Thompson decided to pick up their guitars and start anew with Fruit Stand, an indie-alternative rock group with a brand new sound. The two College of the Canyons students have been making a name for themselves within Santa Clarita’s budding music scene, recording music and rebranding through music platforms like Spotify, iTunes and Google Play.

Their latest single, Blistered Sun (and the August Moon) is available on their Bandcamp page online. Fruit Stand will also be performing at the Hipified Records showcase hosted by Vincenzo’s in Newhall Oct. 6.

For more information about Fruit Stand and upcoming events, visit www. twitter.com/fruitstandband.

Comedy Mashup – Back to School with Larry Omaha

| Entertainment | August 31, 2017

If you are in dire need of laughter — and watching YouTube videos of birthday clowns every Friday night just isn’t cutting it for you anymore — look no further than the Comedy Mashup at The Main in Newhall this Friday at 8 p.m.

This Back to School themed show will feature Comedy Mashup’s very own improv crew, followed by stand-up comedians Julian Fernandez and Greg Lynch. Headlining the event will be Larry Omaha, a Santa Clarita native with an IMDB page to brag about. Omaha has opened for big names like Gabriel Iglesias, and is known for his appearance on American Indian Comedy Slam: Goin’ Native No Reservations Needed.

The recommended age limit for the evening is 18+, and tickets can be purchased at the door for $15. Doors will open 30 minutes before the show starts and seating is first-come, first-served.

For more information about Comedy Mashup, follow
@comedymashup on instagram.

Artist of the Week – Diggy Kat of Vufcup

| Entertainment | August 24, 2017

Vufcup, an experimental rock band from Santa Clarita, recently released their 6th album earlier this month, a monumental accomplishment for anyone in the music business. For Diggy Kat of Vufcup, this album represents years of hard work, creativity, and many, many bass players.

Diggy Kat, the lead singer of Vufcup, has lived in Santa Clarita for most of his life. Growing up, Diggy was homeschooled – which he jokes was due to the fact that he couldn’t be trusted out in public. Because he was able to spend so much time studying what he loved, rather than learning traditional public school material at a rigid pace, he developed his passion for history and music.

Diggy Kat’s music expertise eventually lead him to perform in many different groups throughout the years – all of which have pointed straight to Vufcup. As each band came and went, Diggy took his songs with him, adding to Vufcup’s current discography.

But one of the most unique takeaways from each musical endeavor has to be from the summer of 1996, when a band mate of Diggy’s suggested stage names – and that’s when the name “Diggy Kat” stuck. The name Vufcup, according to Diggy, was born in 1992: “It was originally kind of a nonsensical name. I made up a meaning for it.”

Vufcup’s legacy has spanned far beyond the borders of Santa Clarita. After releasing a demo cassette in 2002, their music reached over 20 different states and 9 countries. And although Vufcup was gaining traction across the world, their hometown of Santa Clarita had virtually no music scene.

“The only part of the SCV music scene was the Vu – a bar in Newhall,” said Diggy. “That closed down. But we travel about an hour and we are in Hollywood and Los Angeles.”
Diggy also co-hosts Lucky Star Radio, an online alternative radio station which he co-founded with his friends Miss Mouse and BK Diaz.

For now, Vufcup has not planned any live performances, but Diggy said that could change: “We want to come back hard. We aren’t messing around anymore.”

For more information about Vufcup, visit vufcupofficial.bandcamp.com. To tune in to Lucky Star Radio, visit luckystarradio.com.

Band of the Week – Scallion

| Entertainment | August 18, 2017

Although scallions aren’t the kind of onion to make you weep, Scallion – a local experimental band from Santa Clarita – is the kind that might make you shed some tears of inspiration.

Unreachable by most forms of social media, Scallion uploads most content to Bandcamp, where listeners can download their discography in the form of MP3 files, or purchase cassette recordings. That’s right: cassettes. Pop them into your Walkman, snuggle into a pair of earphones, and get ready to cry about art.

Nothing Can Depress Me

Each of the band’s releases is showcased with unique album designs. One song uploaded by Scallion is entitled, “NOTHING CAN DEPRESS ME,” and is paired with an out-of-focus picture of a dog wearing a bandana.

For more information about Scallion or to listen to their tunes, visit www.scallionpa.bandcamp.com.

Band of the Week – Love Underwater

| Entertainment | August 11, 2017

Half New Brunswick, half Santa Clarita, Love Underwater is the geographical centaur of the Antifolk genre — you can decide later which city represents the head and which is assigned to the lower body in this particular metaphor.

Love Underwater originated in New Jersey, but due to lead vocalist Leila Bishop’s recent move, takes up residence in SCV. Other members included Ben Brown-McMillin, Lex Douras, Wyatt Rydelewski, Marc Stasio, Jill Deegan, Kai Kiernan, and Victoria Romano.

Together, the band is a large ensemble sporting a gigantic harp. The harp part might sound strange to some, but that’s exactly what the genre antifolk is built for. Some describe antifolk as the evolution of folk, or the merging of punk and folk. The genre puts lyrical content above all else, and promotes uniqueness and personality as a staple.

The New Jersey natives put out their latest album Crosswick in the summer of 2016. As of recent months, the group began donating all merch proceeds to charity, particularly the Transgender Law Center.

For more information about Love Underwater, find them on Facebook or visit https://loveunderwater.bandcamp.com/

 

 

 

SCV Continues Beach Bus Service to Santa Monica – City Hopes Homeless Will ‘Get the Hint’

| Opinion | August 10, 2017

SATIRE

Although summer is coming to an end, there is still a chance to check out Santa Clarita’s very own Beach Bus Service – an inexpensive way for residents and transients to take a very long, quaint trip to someone else’s city.

Since June 3, there has been no need to wander the streets, because there isn’t a way to get to a place with more benches, public restrooms, and fun summer activities. So, what are you waiting for? Find some change, stroll on over to the bus station, and enjoy the trip!

Can we bring coolers and beach balls? OF COURSE. In fact, take everything with you: duffle bags, shopping carts – please, don’t leave anything behind. Grab your beach gear, friends, and personal belongings, and we’ll take care of the rest.

Because of fuel concerns, the transit service can only take half of the bus riders back to Santa Clarita. But don’t worry, once you are at the pier, the rest will take care of itself. Think of it as a relaxing, overnight, permanent vacation at one of Southern California’s best tourist locations, equipped with state-of-the-art shelters and a booming street performer economy.

Some people wonder why SCV doesn’t have a year round homeless shelter. But, with a rocking bus ride to an awesome city like Santa Monica, you should be thankful for what we have, instead of being ungrateful for what this town doesn’t have. What SCV does have, however, are a couple of rockin’ 40-passenger movie theatre carpet-laden buses and a mission.

We would never come right out and tell our hometown transients to leave the city — goodness no. We aren’t the Antelope Valley. All we are saying is, do you even really like it here? It’s not even the right aesthetic for you. The tattered look you are rocking is BoHo Chique, and we are so OhNo Bleaque. We wouldn’t want to ruin the thing you already have going on.

Anyways, all aboard before the summer season is over! It’s what’s best.

Signed,

The City of Santa Clarita’s Inner Monologue

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