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Doug’s Rants THIS WEEK!

| Doug's Rants | March 22, 2012

Random Rants

When calling a business or medical facility and getting their recorded greeting, just once I’d like to hear, “No need to listen carefully, as our menu options have not changed for a long time.”  *   Is it wrong to teach our young sons to just go to the bathroom in the backyard while they are playing out there (#1, that is)? After all, aren’t we supposed to conserve water?   *   Say what you want about Newt Gingrich, but I admire the way he challenges news hosts when they ask him questions slanted to create controversy. He fires right back at them with intensity, calling them out on their dumb questions. You don’t hear any of the other candidates showing that kind of spunk. Not sure whom I’m voting for, but I find Newt’s response refreshing.  *   March Madness is in full swing and if you really think about it, in the scheme of life, what is so important about one group of college students beating another in a game?  At the same time as you watch these athletes who have worked so hard, their fans and families agonizing or rejoicing over every aspect of the game, you realize it is important to an awful lot of people, including me. I often ask myself (or my wife asks me) why I get upset when my team loses? Well, I was struck recently when the camera was on the mom of a player whose team had just lost and she had tears streaming down her face because her heart broke for her son. That’s when you realize how important these games are.

Recent headlines catching my attention, along with opinionated Rants…

Area has “cool, raw weekend”:  I’ll say it was raw, especially when I’m ankle deep in cold, wind-driven rain, trying to unplug overwhelmed drains in the backyard as the water is about to seep into the house!

“21 Jump Street leaps to number 1”: I guess we really are in need of entertaining distractions if this movie is number one!

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“Obama should increase domestic oil production”: Ya think?

“2012 brings new direction to Senior Center”: A wonderful and worthwhile organization!

“Kudos to Man, Woman of the Year nominees”: If I live to be 85 years old I sure hope I’m as sharp and have as much energy as last year’s Man of the Year – Harry Bell. He still drives his 40-foot RV around the country, flies his own plane and is involved in civic and charitable organizations. You go, Harry!

“Vin Scully cuts back on 2012 broadcasting schedule”:  Vinny, what ever you want to do is fine with me, as long as you keep doing some of the games. My first memory of him was when I was very young in Tucson and my grandfather would sit and listen to Dodger games most every night. Again, another amazing 80-something still going strong!

“Peyton picks Broncos”: Oh well, another disappointment for me and my Arizona Cardinals.

Favorite jokes of the week:

Because I’m a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you get her for mother’s day is fine with me, I don’t need to see it. But, don’t forget to buy something for my mother too.

Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the self–help section was. She said, “If I told you, it would defeat the purpose.”

Favorite quotes I ran across this week:

“Have you ever noticed that anybody going slower than you is an idiot, anyone going faster is a maniac?”  (George Carlin)

“I’m not young enough to know everything yet.” (Oscar Wilde)

“Life is risky, sometimes you can die from it.” (unknown)

“I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” (Woody Allen)

I welcome your comments (and rants)… write me….doug@scfree.net

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