by Harry Parmenter
Let’s keep this short. Father’s Day Alert: “Midget Wrestling” at The Canyon. Yes, Dad, Sunday night June 16, after being gifted with yet another necktie and, if it gets that far, game 7 of the NBA Finals, round up the family and head to the mall for a wee bit of action between the rings and on the ropes.
You miss “Game of Thrones?” Well, MicroMania is coming to town. “Midget wrestling” promises an enchanted evening of warring factions, contractions of action and the distinct possibility of someone ending up in traction. If you’re down for a Brobdingnagian rumble of Lilliputian proportion, look no further, father. Your time has come.
While Mother’s Day gets all the hype, Father’s Day conjures vague connotations of loafing, an elbow bent by a bottle of beer and sloppy joes all around. So many wonderful songs celebrate Mom, but the only one that comes to mind for Dad is “Pop Goes the Weasel.” Point being a whole new tradition is just waiting to be born: Dad, the kids and “midget wrestling”! One small step for man…literally.
Billy Blaze is the impresario of this fledgling operation, on his way to becoming the next Vince McMahon on a slightly smaller scale. Blaze filled the Gazette in via email:
Q. So, Father’s Day “Midget Wrestling” at The Canyon. What do we need to know?
A. MicroMania Tour is a high powered, explosive, athletic Pro Wrestling show with just the right touch of comedy thrown in to make for an unforgettable BIG event – not necessarily BIG people!
Q. How many bouts? Who are the key players? Singles, tag teams, mayhem guaranteed?
A. The show will feature Micro Athletes – both men and women – plus our highly popular Battling Bombshells all in singles matches, and pure action from the Opening Bell through the Main Event.
Q. How long have you been running this operation?
A. MicroMania Tour has been around for three years and is based out of California. We have also added “Hire a Micro Entertainer” to our website. Contact us if you need an entertainer for movies, TV commercials, all types of parties and holidays.
Q. Can you tell us something about your own background in wrestling?
A. I have wrestled as Billy Blade for the last two decades and was in a tag team with former WWE Superstar Gangrel. I have a Pro Wrestling School in Central California where we are training people for the future of this business.
Q. I remember growing up during the ‘70s watching wrestling, the Bruno Sammartino/George The Animal Steele/Victor Rivera and the Flying Dropkick, Captain Lou Albano and the glory of “midget wrestling.” Who are your best personalities?
A. Our Micro Stars include from East L.A., Lil Homie, with Micro Bombshell Lil Chola, Lil Kato, son of WWE legend micro star Lord Littlebrook, Micro Bombshell Tiffany Payne, Lil Fabio, who was featured on WWE Wrestlemania in 2018, plus the Battling Bombshells.
Q. Do we have a Peter Dinklage/Game of Thrones lookalike?
A. We don’t have a lookalike of Peter Dinklage, but now GoT is over, we would love to have Mr. Dinklage as part of the MicroMania Tour.
Q. How much politically correct stick have you encountered along the way?
A. We haven’t encountered too much of what is right and wrong, referring to MicroMania and the word “Midget.” This form of wrestling has been around for 50+ years and our athletes are just as amazing as average size counterparts; they just happen to be smaller in stature.
Q. Is this exploitative in any way?
A. Our Micro Stars are professional athletes and are paid very well, with most of our athletes doing this for a living.
Q. Bottom line, anyone who attends Father’s Day at The Canyon…what will they walk away remembering?
A. Our stars have been featured on WWE, “Jackass the Movie,” the hit film “Nacho Libre,” Jerry Springer, As well as many movies, and TV shows. After the show is over, you are guaranteed to be a MicroMania fan for life.
There you have it, in a peanut-shell.
So treat Daddy-O to an unforgettable night where memories will be made, teeth will be gnashed and chips will be cashed. It dwarfs all other Father’s Day possibilities.