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Civics for the Civically Unengaged

| Opinion | May 31, 2018

If you are a registered voter in the City of Santa Clarita, chances are you got a packet from the government within the past few weeks. And if you are anything like everyone else, you couldn’t care less.

For the most part, people would rather play in traffic than get involved in the political process. The government needs to create new methods to engage voters in a way that is interesting and worthwhile. Until then, here are some entry-level ways in which citizens can get involved with this primary.

Use the Ballot as a Coaster
The pages of a ballot have been proven to retain more water than the average piece of junk mail. Even through enduring weeks of water spills, we still manage to push our pens onto those meaningless pages and record dentist appointment times. Those primary ballots make sturdy coasters, and you can rest easy knowing that your democratic duty did not go to waste.

The Ballot Drinking Game
This isn’t your average drinking game. This one is called the “Civic Sip.” Every time you see a name you have never heard of, take a sip. Because you will be very intoxicated by the end.

The Ransom Note
Don’t you hate it when you have to go to CVS and buy a magazine just to get some illegal cash? A ballot provides free material. Simply cut out the letters, and you have yourself a perfect crime. No more thumbing through Time magazine just to blackmail your ex-wife. Now, you can have your cake and exploit it, too.

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Murder Mystery
Have a few friends over. Assign each friend a name that you see on the ballot. Have them create a character based on the name and occupation. For example you could be Nickolas Wildstar, the Libertarian Recording Artist. Or, you could fancy yourself to be Shubham Goel, the unaffiliated Virtual Reality Manager. Either way, you are going to have the time of your life attempting to fill those shoes in a murder-mystery setting.

Frisbee
You’ve thrown it into the trash before – now try throwing it to your son, for once. Enjoy an afternoon in the park tossing the symbol of democracy back and forth, all while solving our nation’s obesity crisis. You won’t regret it.

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About Sarah

Sarah is a student at College of the Canyons and likes to take long walks on the beach. She loves everything jazz, and is aware of every kind of cheese known to man. There's no such thing as a perfect woman, but if there were, she is second to last - and she'll take it.

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