Logo

SCV Continues Beach Bus Service to Santa Monica – City Hopes Homeless Will ‘Get the Hint’

| Opinion | August 10, 2017

SATIRE

Although summer is coming to an end, there is still a chance to check out Santa Clarita’s very own Beach Bus Service – an inexpensive way for residents and transients to take a very long, quaint trip to someone else’s city.

Since June 3, there has been no need to wander the streets, because there isn’t a way to get to a place with more benches, public restrooms, and fun summer activities. So, what are you waiting for? Find some change, stroll on over to the bus station, and enjoy the trip!

Can we bring coolers and beach balls? OF COURSE. In fact, take everything with you: duffle bags, shopping carts – please, don’t leave anything behind. Grab your beach gear, friends, and personal belongings, and we’ll take care of the rest.

Because of fuel concerns, the transit service can only take half of the bus riders back to Santa Clarita. But don’t worry, once you are at the pier, the rest will take care of itself. Think of it as a relaxing, overnight, permanent vacation at one of Southern California’s best tourist locations, equipped with state-of-the-art shelters and a booming street performer economy.

Advertisment

Some people wonder why SCV doesn’t have a year round homeless shelter. But, with a rocking bus ride to an awesome city like Santa Monica, you should be thankful for what we have, instead of being ungrateful for what this town doesn’t have. What SCV does have, however, are a couple of rockin’ 40-passenger movie theatre carpet-laden buses and a mission.

We would never come right out and tell our hometown transients to leave the city — goodness no. We aren’t the Antelope Valley. All we are saying is, do you even really like it here? It’s not even the right aesthetic for you. The tattered look you are rocking is BoHo Chique, and we are so OhNo Bleaque. We wouldn’t want to ruin the thing you already have going on.

Anyways, all aboard before the summer season is over! It’s what’s best.

Signed,

The City of Santa Clarita’s Inner Monologue

No Tags

  

About Sarah

Sarah recently graduated from Saugus High School and likes to take long walks on the beach. She loves everything jazz, and she knows every kind of cheese known to man. There is no such thing as a perfect woman – but if there were, she is second to last: and she’ll take it.

Leave a Reply

Doug’s Rant – Video Edition

  • WatchDoug's Rant June 16, 2017
  • WatchDoug's Rant May 26